funny

It's funny how as teenagers we can't see the big picture...all we can see is right here and right now. I love my kids more then anything in this world and would give my own life for them. I know that I have disappointed them at times - and I know that I have made them angry at times - and I know that I have downright hurt them at times. It wasn't intentional, but it has happened. I was/am a young mother...I had my oldest son the day after I turned 15...my water actually broke at 10 pm on my birthday. I made the choice to keep and raise my son. He has had to grow up with me still growing up. I don't have the life I want for my kids...I don't have a bad life - just not the life I want for my kids. And honestly, I am not really sure how to get the life I want for my kids. There is so much emotional baggage in my life...and yeah this has alot to do with my weight I am sure. Or at least getting fat was a side effect of this emotional pit from hell. If only I were a stronger woman...but I don't even know where to begin to even start to heal some of these wounds. I have pushed them to the side and put them off for so long now...I wish things could be different...do I blame myself for all that has gone wrong in my sons life...you betcha...

KcNorton